Not Just a Wedding Planner

When the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled on Nov. 18, 2003 that the Commonwealth could not deny marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples, Bernadette Coveney Smith had a "light bulb" moment.

"Candidly, I saw the decision as a business opportunity, as well as a historic victory for civil rights," Smith says. "The ruling meant that gay marriage was hopefully here to stay, and it created a supply and demand issue," she quips, noting that there were no wedding planners prepared to cater to the needs of gay and lesbian couples.

Smith, who was only 27 years old and working for a non-profit at the time, immediately sketched her ideas for the first gay wedding planning enterprise. She anticipated the needs for customized invitations, vows, and procession plans that fit with a couple's desires, as well as the need for gay-friendly vendors who are supportive and reliable.

Within a matter of months, she lined up the customers, vendors and financial support necessary to launch the business now known as 14 Stories, a name chosen for the 14 plaintiffs in the Goodridge v. Department of Public Health decision. "These 14 people gave us the 14 stories that changed the world," says Smith, noting that she generally begins the process of planning a couple's wedding by asking them: "What's your story?"

The young entrepreneur says she interviews couples to help them develop a customized and personalized event. "I ask them how they met, how they got engaged, what their interests are, and what their favorite activities are as a couple," she says.

This thoughtful exploration of each couple's life has resulted in a string of memorable events. "We did a wedding at the Museum of Science for a pair of women science teachers," Smith recalls, noting that the table names corresponded to elements in the periodic table, while the glasses were laboratory flasks, and each table featured a science-related book with mind-bending visuals.

Smith says it's hard to select her "most memorable" event, but one she described with awe was for a couple who lived in Florida and St. Croix, traveled the world, and had a global guest list. "They wanted a magical mood with a sense of voyage to it, so we created a moonless night theme where guests arrived by boat on [Boston Harbor's] Thompson Island," Smith remembers. Once there, they strolled across a dock strewn with flower petals and candles, past a tree-lined walkway, and then into an open-air dining facility covered only by a vaulted roof on wooden posts. The soft light of candles hanging from the roof, and the Celtic bagpipe music playing against a backdrop of harbor mist completed the evening.

The results have generated referrals from everywhere that gay marriage is legal, including Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire, Vermont and Washington, D.C. They have also opened some eyes. "Some guests are reluctant participants, but often you can see their minds opening at a gay wedding," says Smith, adding that many people have approached her with glassy eyes afterwards, saying "I did not know what to expect, but that was the best wedding I have ever attended."

She is quick to share credit for the compliments with her own spouse, Jennifer Coveney Smith, who is the creative director for 14 Stories; and she also credits carefully chosen vendors, emphasizing that any vendor or vendor's employee who is not gay-friendly can stain an otherwise beautiful memory. "Sometimes prejudice is overt in an interview and sometimes it is not," says Smith, adding that "my book of supportive and reliable vendors is one of my biggest assets."

Vendors who are responsible for transportation, invitations, music, floral arrangements, and dozens of other details can also present a couple with awkward moments if they are unaccustomed to gay weddings. "Most vendors just assume you are straight, so you have to 'come out' to all of them when discussing your wedding plans, and that can be uncomfortable... especially when you work with an average of 43 vendors per wedding," says Smith.

"So I'm not just a wedding planner, but an advocate for my clients, keeping dollars in the community of gay-owned and gay-friendly businesses," she asserts.

Smith points to additional planning details that differ for gay and lesbian couples, such as the processional, where couples can walk together down a center aisle, approach each other from opposite aisles, or part the waves of a crowd (at a non-church event).

"Invitations are different too. Many times a gay couple pays for their own wedding and they might be the hosts on the invitations, or there might be one or more supportive parents who want to be listed," Smith says, adding that the couple's names can be done differently as well. Some clients have hyphenated their combined surnames, some have kept their names, and some have invented whole new names, such as the couple who merged Stansberry and Caufield to make Stansfield.

Smith concludes that 14 Stories has come a long way in six years, but she does not want to omit one important "vendor" in her story. "My lawyer, Deb Peckham at Burns & Levinson, was also one of my first clients. She has helped me with everything." The 14 Stories owner has a special place in her heart for socially-conscious legal advocates.